Who did Billy Mays play for?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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