Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize