i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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