All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
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You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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