Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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