I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize