If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she pinky promised me she was 18
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize