we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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