I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize