last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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