I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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