I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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