And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize