Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize