OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize