like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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