so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
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Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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