My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize