I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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