If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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