please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
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Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize