Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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