So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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