real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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