Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize