i permit you to call me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize