The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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