he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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