hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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