i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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