why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize