I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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