i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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