I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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