used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So many bounce houses so little time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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