I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
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