god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize