i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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