i may or may not be watching the land before time
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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