seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i think i just lost a toe
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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