dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize