so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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