Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize