just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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