i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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