she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize