You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Vodka?
Forever.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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