Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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