i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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