Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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